Nerdy geek freak. Veggie, Earl Grey lover and sofa loafer.


How to piss off everyone in town.

How to piss off everyone in town.

Not only have I managed to annoy a couple of people in the town. I’ve also grabbed a few people by the throat and shaken them to the point of annoyance.
It is a strange thing. Anyone that knows me understands that I do not like confrontations. I will go out of my way to avoid them. I’m the idiot that stands back when two drunk people are starting a fight with each other. I will sit and make…

View On WordPress

Wirksworth Festival. The locals are aghast.

Wirksworth Festival. The locals are aghast.

There has been an undercurrent of distaste in the the way that Wirksworth Festival has been run for the past few years. What started as a small exhibit for local artists has spiralled over the past 20 years into something unrecognisable. In the process, what started as a small group of volunteers has become a nest of committee meetings and nothing getting done.

I remember such a meeting – where I…

View On WordPress

Working on a Bank Holiday weekend.

Working on a Bank Holiday weekend.

Well I can tell you now, it is a complete and utter a-hole. I did it for six years behind the bar. When there are only a few members of staff, there is not the question of ‘does anyone get it off’? No, it is full hands-on-deck, working your nads to the bone until someone either collapses of exhaustion or starts getting snappy in-front of a customer and goes for a 10 minute chill out. Having to…

View On WordPress

Engratiating yourself into the local clique: How my favourite pub became awful.

Engratiating yourself into the local clique: How my favourite pub became awful.

‘Like you’re customers’. Well it can be broadly said, that the new landlady of my old work place – The Blacks Head – has singularly not only failed to do this but has arrived with a grenade launcher and used it to blow any pieces of ‘local connections’ into tiny smithereens.

I take any local gossip with a pinch of salt, but “oh Lordy” the amount of bad vibes and outright disdain coming from…

View On WordPress

Ego googling.

If you’ve never heard of ego googling, try it now. Type in your own name and see what comes up. Get it now, ego googling. Because the phrase involves two things, 1) googling, and 2) having an ego.

Well as you obviously have guessed. I tried it. And don’t like the results.

Apparently I am a Samaritan. Bollocks. Yes I like to think I have done some good for people. But doing it for a religious…

View On WordPress

Being an inverse gooseberry.

Being an inverse gooseberry.

As far as I can remember I’ve never been a gooseberry on someone’s date. I have been a complete and utter intrusive arsehole on said encounters, where being told to piss off was the only sensible cause of action. But at least I can say I was never a gooseberry. Just a total git.

Recently though many people around me are in these long term relationships, some of them in something called marriage.…

View On WordPress